Twenty years ago when I was an escort, I hadn’t ever heard of the term demisexuality. Even if I had, I don’t think I would have applied it to myself.
It’s only in hindsight, when I look at my past sexual experiences, that I can frame my sexuality in that way. But, when I look back at my time as an escort, clearly it figured into the choices I made.
My reflection on this time in my life, when I was a sex worker, raises a number of interesting questions.
It’s been two years and two months since my last confession. My confession to you that I needed more. I needed you in my life, yes. But I also needed to explore my sexuality. And I wanted to do it by selling my body.
Why sell my body? In actuality, it was more like men buying my time, and I would use that time to explore my own sexual pleasure. I figured hit one orgasm with two stones: being with multiple men while making a living.
For surely I could just hookup with random men casually. But I found it…
When you work as an escort, often the most lucrative jobs are called “out calls.” In calls are at the place of business, in my case a massage parlor. Out calls take place in a home or hotel room. After a couple of weeks proving myself, when I first started sex work, I was asked if I wanted to do out calls.
Some girls wouldn’t do out calls because they were afraid of possible danger. Not to mention there was more risk in terms of a session being a possible sting. …
Casual sex, especially between strangers, can make great fantasy. But, I have some conflicted feelings about doing it in real life. I’m not speaking from the perspective of a prude — I am a former escort. But, I have a hard time having this kind of sexual encounter devoid of intimacy.
The idea of sex between strangers isn’t limited to this current era. In fact, in 1973, Erica Jong defined it as a “zipless fuck” in her semi-autobiographical novel, Fear of Flying. She wrote this book on the heels of the sexual revolution that began in the late 1960s. …
First loves are supposed to herald in a whole new world, opening you up to new feelings and perspectives you never had before. You might think I experienced this when I lost my virginity. We did whisper “I love you,” many times in our warm embrace. But, if I’m to be honest, my first love was my vibrator.
Like other first loves, this vibrator opened me up to a whole new world.
But, it also taught me a lot about myself.
Ironically, it was my boyfriend who introduced me to this self-pleasure tool. We were 16 years old and spent…
I imagine myself telling the two men exactly what to do when I watch gay porn. They are in the vulnerable position of being watched. It gives me an incredible sense of control. And I’m not alone. It is the second most viewed category by women on Pornhub (first is “lesbian” porn).
I believe one reason for this popularity is that watching male on male porn gives the female viewer a sense of power.
The closest — and farthest — that I ever came to this situation was a threesome with two other men. It was close because there were…
For years, most of my interactions socially were with men. This was true to some extent before I was an escort. But when I entered into sex work, my relationships were even more limited.
Before I was an escort, I went to an engineering-focused college. There, I didn’t have many opportunities to hang out with women. When I started to do sex work, I thought this might change. I really thought that sex work would introduce me to other women with a certain shared interest: sex.
Being an escort made female friendships even more sparse.
The fact is, there weren’t…
The dream was recurring. I would go and see one of my regular clients at his house. Then I would see — and experience — the biggest dick I had ever laid eyes, hands, and mouth on.
This dream was based on a real occurrence, but my unconscious found it so striking that it kept happening over and over in my sleep.
Before the super big cock guy, my experiences had been fairly average — not too small, not too big. Only a few uncircumcised penises. …